Men do this thing with me where they tell me after-the-fact about their attraction to me. When it’s happening, I generally know that they’re attracted to me and *they* know that they’re attracted to me, but nothing comes of it and I happily move on with my life, undeterred and unencumbered.
Six months or six years later, I get a text, or inbox, or voicemail along the lines of “you know I had a crush on you, right?”
Me: What?
Him: you know 6 months ago when we were in that 12-week Navy course,  I had a crush on you
Me: Ok
Me: …..
I mean is there some basic response that folks are expecting from me after this big reveal? Is it like getting a rose from the bachelor? Am I supposed to reveal that I, too, had a crush on them 6 months or 6 years ago? Why are we doing this?
Mostly I don’t say anything. I just let them get whatever it is out of their system. I’ve been texting back and forth with one guy (the one from six months ago) and I still can’t figure out WHAT HE WANTS. Mostly, because I don’t think he even knows. I factor into his wants, needs, must haves equation in some way, but not in a way that’s defined enough for him to articulate. Which is why it took 6 months (and me being far away) for him to take the first blind steps in my direction. What he doesn’t realize is that I do not want ANY part in this delayed action or what-have-you.  My kingdom for a man who knows what he wants and says it (without being married to someone else or a complete serial killer).
If you have ever looked at me and thought: hmmm, I wonder why she’s still single then I take it that you don’t date straight men and therefore have no idea how absolutely ridiculous dating is.
Seriously. Add to it the need to bring folks to 101 level of knowledge just so you can have a conversation (kind of) and it’s just not worth it.

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