I’m a writer. You probably know that about me already.
What you don’t know — maybe don’t realize — is that I am not particularly disciplined with this talent of mine. I write frequently (at least daily) in my head, but only haphazardly do I get those drafts onto the page. On average, I publish maybe once every other week or so. Which makes me feel slightly guilty especially when I hear that Sermon of the talents (Matthew 24). I somewhat identify with the guy who buries his talent. Maybe he was afraid of losing it, or afraid that he wasn’t very good at investing, or he was scared to take the risk.
Writing is kind of like that for me. Do you know how many blogs exists? How many people write books every year? How many people write books about the things that I love to write about? A LOT. There is a point in writing where you wonder if anybody even notices what you’re doing or even cares. Like, am I saying anything different, or relevant? What is the point of putting my own thoughts in the world? Most times I feel like a street preacher on Bourbon street that nobody pays attention to as she shouts down random drunk passersby to warn them about the upcoming apocalypse and God’s judgement by fire.
But I write anyway. Mostly because I have to. I think that’s what a writer is: a person who has to write despite the odds of making this a career, or being famous, or even getting paid. Because even if none of that ever happens, I would still write.
And if I really believe that this writerlyness thing is a talent, then what, praytell, am I going to do with it? We already agree that hiding it in the ground doesn’t work (see sermon of the talents) and I can’t not write. So I’ve made a goal for this year to develop my craft by writing a blog post every day.
So far I have five days in a row *throws confetti*. But what will I write? ?? *breaks out in hives* Will I really have something new to say every day for the remainder of this year?
It certainly doesn’t feel like it right now. Today my brain feels Sri Lanka distant and I kind of just want to take a nap. I want to change “write every day” to “maybe write 5 days (doesn’t mater which days) a week if you feel like it.” I mean..it’s Friday and I want to order a pizza and watch the Poverty Inc documentary instead of being in front of my computer writing a blog post that few people will read and even fewer care about. But that would be burying my talent.
And thus, here I am, butt in the chair (with my lumbar support in place), ready to write.
Part of the creative process is just showing up each day -or so I’ve been told. I do know that this is true when it comes to the gym. If I show up there every day, I get muscles and a non-jiggly belly (#demgainz is real), but I’ve never bothered showing up every day to meet my muse and so I am curious to see what would happen if I did. I am curious to see how deep this creative well goes.
It’s like a science project to figure out what exists in the depths? Is there a bottom to this creative life? What exactly am I capable of with respect to writing? Can I disengage the desire to write from the discipline of daily writing (i.e can I still write something — something good and resonant — even when I don’t feel like it).
I suspect that I am about to figure out the answers to these questions (and so are you).I also suspect that writing every day is a bit like training for a marathon. Each post helps build my endurance and (ideally) prepares me for the marathon that is book writing. Maybe I’ll figure out my second book.
Either way, my goal is out there in Times Roman 12 pt font, so I guess that means I’m in this. I usually write about race, religion, and relationships with a bit of Randomness thrown in for spice and so if that interests you: Follow along and see the results of my science project.
I’m going to order pizza now. Happy Friday and Happy writing.