The Single Girl years can last for quite some time. A decade or more. Maybe even an epoch. My Single Girl years definitely make up a significant era of my life. On bad days when I’m lonely or frustrated, it seems never-ending.
Those days are rare, but they do happen on occasion. I call them the dog days of despair (and hyperbole) : I’m never going to find anybody. I’m going to be alone forever. I don’t even like cats and that’s all I’m going to have. ** Collapses onto the bed with loud hacking sobs** I hear these sentiments (maybe not the cat ones) echoed in the sighs of my single friends and see it their frustrations with dating Olympics.
All of this frustration leads most Single Girls to believe: there must be something wrong with me. Which always results in settling for some completely unsuitable guy to stave off those feelings. Now, I’m all for being dramatic and wildly hyperbolic on these days. I’ll even throw a pity party and invite you to attend, but don’t get crazy. You aren’t the problem. Trust me about this — I’m a blogger. Seriously, it’s not a question of your worth.
So much of our worth is tied up in other people and the amount of love or lack of attention that the give to us. We treat our worth like a commodity– a simple equation of supply versus demand. The more people who desire us, the more worthy or valuable we feel. When it seems that no one wants to date us, then we question ourselves: is it me? What’s wrong with me?
And so we find significance in the superficial to make us feel valuable. We measure our worth by the number of “likes” that we get on our FB profile pictures or the number of hearts on our never-ending flawless IG selfies, or the number of responses that we get on a dating website. We make our worth subject to the whims of someone else’s fickle desires. We allow people who have no business being a shareholder in our lives to determine the value of our stock.
I’m not preaching here. I’m testifying.
I guess more than anything else this blog post is a friendly Saturday reminder that: you have infinite inherent worth. Worth that has nothing to do with your circumstances, your looks, your relationship status, or money that you don’t have.
I remind myself of this when I am disappointed in my dating choices or intent on chasing some half-hearted fantasy of a relationship.
I am Imago Dei. I am fearfully and wonderfully made whether anyone else believes it or not. My heart was molded by the same hands that created Hawaii, galaxies, and chocolate. How can I not have infinite value? You’ve got to know your worth.
And guess what? That goes for everyone — not just Single Girls.