This is literally how every single girl story about dating starts:
So, I did meet a guy recently. In general, he seems pretty legit. Well-adjusted, adulting on a regular basis (as opposed to Peter Panning) and when we talk on the phone, we talk for several hours (on more than once occasion) without stops or awkward pauses. I don’t do that with anyone. So, that’s interesting. This could all be very interesting, in fact, since he lives in the city where I am moving. Hmmmm. I am not going to talk about the Dude just yet though– he doesn’t even have a nickname! But I do want to talk about how we “met.”
One of the questions that I frequently get asked is: where do you meet people (read: guys)? It depends. When I lived in Europe, I met people just by breathing. Me existing and walking around in real life meant that I would meet guys who thought that I was A-mazing and wanted to take me out on dates. In America…not so much. *le sigh*
Keeping in mind my recycling tendencies, I tend to either a) already know the guy from college or in some job-related way and then we reconnect and…fireworks or misfires occur. Or b) I meet someone while doing some type of thing that I enjoy (e.g. salsa dancing or coffee shops – yep that’s a thing) and mostly misfires occur. (I have yet to meet a dude at church or the library/bookstore though- which I think would be ideal, but that’s not my life.)
I met No-Nickname-Just-Yet (NNJY) on Facebook. To be specific, I was adulting at my 9-5 and I got included in a group message from a FB friend and some person I didn’t know that went like this:
FB Friend: Hey, PFABgirl, meet this awesome guy who is intelligent and does the following things! Hey NNJY, meet this awesome girl who is talented and beautiful and does these things. I just thought that you guys should meet. Feel free to exclude me from the conversation. The End.
Now I have met someone on FB before (also an interesting meet-cute), but not quite like this. I’ve never had someone introduce me to a stranger out of the blue. Of course, once someone introduces you in a group message like this, you have to respond to the group. Not responding is rude to not just this random person that you’ve never met and are now being compelled to interact with, but also to your FB friend who thought enough to introduce you in the first place. Even though you’re thinking “who is this random person that FB friend is introducing me to?” you have to do the obligatory: so nice to meet you reply because everyone can tell if you’ve read the message (thanks FB).
I have no doubt that he checked out my profile picture(s) (as I did his) before responding. I think I said something along the lines of “Hey, I’m adulting right now. I’ll get back to you in a week.” And he was like “yeah, I’m adulting too. Catch up with you later”
Now, this type of introduction can go far South very quickly. We could have easily left things here and then privately messaged our mutual FB friend and either asked for clarifying details about the other person or asked her to never do that again. But, we ended up talking to each other directly without our mutual friend. And so far? Pretty good.
When you live in Singlevania it gets easy to dismiss a lot of interactions with strangers (hello, all of your friends were strangers at one point!) because it isn’t quite what you imagined when you thought about dating or it doesn’t happen in exactly the way you want to be able to retell the story. “A FB friend introduced me in a group message” doesn’t really sound as romantic as: we bumped into each other at the book store. Like literally! And as we bent to pick up our scattered books, we realized we had the same book tastes and then we looked deep into each other’s eyes and fell in love (can you see where my head is?). Yeah let go the idea of what “should be” and try what is.
People meet in all kinds of unlikely places, including bars, airports, hostels, and even in combat. Who knows…maybe it will work out. And if it doesn’t then *shrug*. I have 900 some other Facebook friends who can introduce me to their friends. (Some qualifications: only the ones who know how to adult, are handsome, have an excellent job, education, love Jesus, and think I’m beautiful. Creeper McCreepersons need never apply and if you introduce me to one, we aren’t friends (not even the FB type) anymore).
So if this is a thing that people are doing now (Ahem Hinge), I’m in.