There should be an asterisk with every Single Girl Problem post that I write, a little footnote, a caveat to relay the following info:
Yes, these are my single girl problems; no, I’m not particularly sad about them.
My new series of SGP posts have resulted in an outpouring of (mostly) male support in my inbox ( Oh the things that happen in my inbox). The gist of most messages seems to read like an Engrish t-shirt from Japan or a fortune cooke: Don’t worry! You’ll find someone eventually. Happiness too. I mean, I even liked you once a long time ago. Overall, you’re not bad to look at. Me likey.
Ummm…thanks? This support is meant to be an electronic chuck on the chin, or pat on the shoulder: don’t worry old girl; someone’s bound to love you someday. Tally-ho! You probably do the same thing to the single not-so-much-girls that you know in real life. Please stop. Yes, I know it’s very well meaning and thoughtful and you’re just trying to be nice. But it’s nice in the same way that coming in second place in a beauty pageant is nice: you’re cute and all – just not cute enough to win. It’s also sorely misplaced.
You see I like my very single, unencumbered life very much. And, as I’ve discussed here before, THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH ME! I realize this people. Though I wouldn’t mind finding the Italian (I’m pretty sure he’s waiting for me in Italy) and making some bambini at some point, I’ve got plenty of other goals and life plans to accomplish in the meantime. And, other Single Girl Problems to solve like: New Zealand or Australia for New Year’s? is 1 am too late for salsa dancing when I have to work tomorrow? Should I buy the glittery one, the red one, or both? (upcoming SGP: Selfishness – the struggle is real). Those are the fun single girl problems. Most of the others are just funny.
So when your single best friend is sitting at your kitchen table on Friday night, eating copious amounts of chocolate, and whining about not having a date: listen to her stories, laugh with her at her missteps and mishaps, take away the chocolate (she’ll thank you for this later), remind her of her fun single girl problems and send her on her way. ** If you are single and don’t have fun and/or glamorous SGPs then chances are you’re doing it all wrong **.
In the end, I’m not looking for sympathy or commiseration in these posts. I’m just chronicling my journey one crazy date at a time. Think of me as your friendly, bespectacled news correspondent with fantastic fashion taste and flawless makeup coming to you live and reporting the condition of war-torn Singlevania. It’s quite a jungle out here.