My Camera does things like this:
Which makes it next to impossible to do real things like clean out the shower, or make my bed, or sit down to write this blog. It’s much more fun to create alternate universes for my cartoon super-hero self—Super Jada. I don’t even have to leave the house to look glamorous. I can just make a couple of pictures like this:
add a filter and voila: Instantaneous glamour.
Life is much simpler as Super Jada. Super Jada doesn’t have a complicated relationship with her boss, or a non-existent relationship with her father, or an ex-best friend that she has no idea how to talk to anymore. Super Jada doesn’t freak out about not having a crush or dating in over two years. Super Jada doesn’t care that she’s leaving paradise in 3 short months and returning to the bitter winters of the East Coast. Super Jada doesn’t feel anything because she isn’t real. She’s a façade. A stand-in. My avatar. She’s the unblemished girl with the perfect makeup and great clothes. Super Jada’s life looks as a calm as a duck on the water’s surface but real Jada is paddling feverishly underneath.
It’s tough to be real. Especially when there are dozens of apps, life hacks, and filters galore to make it seem like you’ve got it all together. Heck, you can just make up awesome Facebook statuses if you want (yeah! Just ran into Luke Skywalker downtown Honolulu. Woo-hoo). Real is hard! And oftentimes, it’s woefully unglamorous and underwhelming. It’s hard to keep up with your friends when they live half a world away, and it’s hard to be a good daughter (let alone a child of God), and it’s hard not to flip out at work when nothing is going my way. Creating a different persona is probably not the best way to deal with the inherent difficulty of life; admitting that I don’t actually have it together is probably a good way to start.
As I’ve been struggling with life’s ongoing difficulties, God has been constantly reminding me of 2 Corinthians 12:9: But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
Ah Grace! What a salve for a weary and wounded heart. I am so thankful that somebody (Ahem, God) has it all together and that no one expects me to be that person.